So much pain in my heart, what can I do?

I hurt emotionally and physically everyday because life shits on me everyday. (sorry for the language) If you don't know my story, I was born to a crack addict mother, I grew up homeless, slept in cars, parks and even shelters. I never had any type of bond with my mother and I don't even know my father nor his name. All I heard growing up was '; go to school, get an education'; Well I did just that and it feels like I am being punished for doing so. I can not find a job to adequately support my family and it hurts so much. I often feel like taking myself out of this world just so I don't feel this pain anymore. I need help, someone to talk to, I talk to God everyday and I leave it in his hands but times are hard and my heart hurts more and more each day. Help!